Not Like Them
by Lidsworth
Summary: Since Loki had been brought back to Asgrad, there had been many occasions when he's seen it, even if it was just a flash. Fear now defied the younger god, and a fear that terrified even Thor. Loki closed himself off. But Thor would find his brother, despite the past, despite what had happened. He was his older brother and he'd help Loki anyway he could. But Odin has other plans R
1. Prologue

**a/n: This is placed after the Avenger's, basically, there are many things being kept from Thor, and every single one preventing him from healing his younger brother who lives in fear. And the biggest secret starts with Odin. **

**I'm maybe thinking of making it slash, but if it's slash, there's a 95.9% chance that i'll add mpreg. Anyway, I hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: i don't own anything.**

**ooooo**

He could see it in his brother's tortured eyes, and it scared him. It scared him...well...because this was Loki. To see his brother actually not lashing out, not twisting someone's mind with his words, but to see his eyes showered in fear, it just wasn't Loki. Since Loki had been brought back to Asgrad, there had been many occasions when he's seen it, even if it was just a flash. Those were things he didn't miss, because these things hurt him so much. And, it wasn't just in his eyes, it was in his words, his movements, it was in Loki himself. Fear now defied the god, it was something he lived by daily.

For one, though, he knew that his presence eased Loki just a bit, he always seemed more relaxed when his older brother was around him. He trusted Thor, and for that, Thor was happy, very happy. But, he still held a certain caution whenever he came too close for comfort.

Close.

Closed.

Loki had completely closed himself off from the world, and Thor feared the day when he'd be lumped in with the rest. His father, his mother, his friends, but he just wanted to convey to Loki, that despite who he was, despite what he was, he was not like them. But Loki just couldn't believe him, he wouldn't believe him. Whenever he'd asked if something had happened, or what was wrong with him, or exactly what had their father done to turn Loki into such a fearful person, it only proved to be fruitless. Thor would usually have to stop Loki midway when it turned out to be too much for the younger god's head.

His brother just wasn't the same, but, that didn't stop Thor's determination. He'd made it a promise to himself, that no matter how messed up his brother was, no matter what others thought of him, or no matter what he'd done, that he'd be the older brother to pull Loki through.

If only he'd known what damage his own father had done to his younger brother.

**ooooo**

**So, this is my first Thor fic. It may be slash or may not be, but, I just really wanted to try it out. I love Loki, but not just because he's hot (though, it is a contributing factor) , but, he has an amazing character. So, R&R, have a nice week and God bless.**


	2. Where We Stand

**a/n: Thanks for the reviews! There's a poll on my page for those of you who want to look at it, has to do with this story. Basically, this chapter is a make up for the length of the previous one. It's not fully done, but, i'm cutting it into two pieces. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own what Disney or Marval owns. **

**ooooo**

Where We Stand

The smell of exotic meat and freshly baked bread drifted through the larger hallways of the palace. Thor inhaled the scent and smiled to himself as it taunted his empty belly, begging the Thunder god to partake in the extravagant meal. And oh, how he longed to, but first, he would have to fetch his younger brother, Loki. Thor had remembered her words exactly, Lady Sif's, that is.

"...And don't come back," she'd said sternly to him, eyes staring him down and finger pointed directly at his chest, "until you find Loki and bring him to dinner with you. We'd all like to see him. I'll come for you if you're taking too long" Thor knew that Sif spoke for all, and was quick to obey her, for he'd hated the way she'd acted whenever she had been turned down. So, despite the growing pain of hunger in his stomach, he continued to stray from the kitchen and make his ways to his brother's chambers.

He always knew when he was getting closer to his brother's room due to the lack of light, and the stickiness of magic that hung about. Also, the temperature dropped as he neared the door and put his hand on the doorknob. A chill ran through his body, and if he had not been the god of thunder, he would have quickly retreated it. But, his brother was most likely inside, reading or studying whatever he was allowed to. Thor didn't wish to disturb him, so he silently opened the door. He couldn't help but feel excitement wail up inside of him, it had been a long time since he'd actually seen his brother up close.

The room inside was dimly lit and cold, so cold, that with every breath Thor could see the warmth come out of his mouth and nose in the form of mist. The cold hit his skin, and he began to feel himself shivering. He wrapped his arms around himself and looked towards Loki's large bed. He smiled to himself as he walked over to the bed and looked over it. It was obvious that Loki was laying down. Thick blankets covered his entire body, therefore obscuring Thor's view of him.

Slowly and carefully, he grabbed the edge of the dark blankets and pulled them down, revealing the pale form which was clothed in black and green robes. He was pale, very pale, and thin as well. Thor gasped as he brought his hand to Loki's face. The cold rushed through his veins like a strike of lightning. Thor shot back, and, as he did, two bright green eyes opened and stared directly at him. Two terrified eyes looked into his soft blue ones.

"Sorry for waking you," he said as softly as he could manage, the shock of Loki's eyes still hanging about him, "I just wanted to invite you to a dinner with our friends." The eyes stared at Thor, almost to the point of irritation. Thor could practically see this invite processing through Loki's mind. He did this in battle, when faced with a tough decision, but usually, not this slow. As he thought, Thor took the time to look at his brother's deteriorating features. His hair was thinner than he'd seen it last, as well as duller. His eyes, though wide, were draped in dullness behind the fear, and his face was pale, sickly pale, almost grey. Thought it had been long, Thor hadn't expected his brother to change this much. He looked sick and tired; nothing like Thor had remembered him. How long had it been since he'd been brought back to Asgrad? How many months had it been? Just a little over a year it was, yet, his brother seemed to look so ill.

"What are you staring at," the tone of the voice had caught him by surprise. It was like Loki's voice, but not like Loki's voice, just like Loki was Loki, but not fully Loki. "You have not been eating well, brother, all the more reason for you to partake in tonight's feast, " Thor said brightly, taking hodl of his brother's incredibly thin wrist, "and perhaps, later, we can ask Mother and Fat_" It seemed that the last two names had struck a nail, or, perhaps the last one. At the sound of the word, '"Father", Loki yanked his arm away from Thor's, and held it up in the air out of reach. His eyes were no longer burned by sadness, but glistened with rage.

Thor stared into his eyes, and found himself looking away once the site was too much to bare. "I told you," Loki began, his voice in a low growl, "not to mention HIS NAME in front of me ever again!" Thor looked back into the eyes, seeing anger slowly seep away, only to be replaced with the emotion known all too well, fear.

Thor was treading deep waters, but, he needed to get through to Loki, he'd run into this block too many times. He took a breath and put a hand on Loki's frail shoulder, but as quickly as he'd shouted, he'd begun his retreat to the comfort of his bed. Thor managed to grab him in time, and somewhat prevent him from diving under his blankets again.

" What did Father do to you ?" he asked as bluntly, yet sternly as possible. Loki, for a while, remained silent and avoided eye contact with his brother. Just as he was about to ask again, Loki pulled away from his grasp and turned away, so that his back was to Thor.

"It's so easy for you to say that, isn't it?" Loki said, his tone pleading and worn, "it's so easy for you to say that, yet you know nothing about the events, you didn't even partake in them."

"Brother, plea_" Thor tried to bargain, but was cut off just as quickly. "Why do you have to toy with my mind?" Loki asked, his voice cracking, "Why do you have to lie to me? Why do you love to drive me into insanity? You hate me, don't you? Just like everyone else?"

"Loki, please," Thor said, grabbing both of Loki's shoulders, "Please tell me what happened, why are you so scared?" Perhaps, this wasn't the best thing to ask, and this wasn't the best way to ask it. But Thor had only realized this when Loki returned the question with a heart tugging answer.

"Why tell you, so the "Mighty King" can mock me, along with his friends," by now, it was obvious that Loki was losing his nerves and he was visibly shaking from behind. Loki was broken, very broken, and as his older brother, Thor felt somewhat responsible. But, his help was obviously fruitless, as his younger brother was bound to lose it in an instant.

For now, he'd retreat, but he would not give up.

He moved from the bed, and moved away so that he was no longer in Loki's personal space. He bit his lip in order to remain calm as he heard Loki's soft cries.

His brother was crying, and he knew he could do nothing, absolutely nothing. He was forced to watch and wait, wait until Loki had stopped, so perhaps he could have a different take on the conversation, but it always ended the same way.

Their relationship was a constant dance; a routine memorized and performed a dance of sadness and despair, a dance that Thor refused to abandon.

He slowly walked backwards towards the door, still staring at his brother. He needed to give Loki space and a little time to think, he was wrong to have winded him up so. "Loki," Thor said, evenly, "I will come back to your room when I feel that you have regained yourself. Until then, I'll leave the door closed and station guards at your door so you_"

"No, not the guards, please," Loki managed, barely above whisper, "just leave. And, if you can help it, don't come back again."

Thor felt the familiar twinge of anger and guilt rise up within him. Without saying a word, he stepped out of Loki's chambers, and closed the door behind him. As he did so, he didn't leave, yet, he knew Loki was straining his ears in order to listen for Thor's heavy footsteps, indicating that he'd left. And finally, he did, and Thor was left to return to the dinner empty handed.

**ooooo**

**So, the dinner part will come next, and I might as well tell you, Thor is finally able to persuade Loki, but, you'll get to read more of that part later. I posted this so I could make up for the incredible short chapter, not much dialogue, but, you can see where the story stands now. Anyway, i want to give a special thanks to the people who subscribed, favorited, alerted and reviewed. It makes me happy to know someone's reading. Please though, review, I really want to see what you think. Also, there's a pole on my page. Also, excuse spelling and God bless. **


	3. A Broken Soul

**a/n: So, here's the next chapter. I've changed it up and taken the dinner scene out, i'll post it later. It will not be slash, so, there you guys go. Hope you love this chapter. **

**disclaimer: I only own what is actually mine. Not Marvel. **

**A Broken Soul **

Sif leaned on the wall with her arms crossed as she waited for Thor to bring Loki to the dinner. The instant she'd heard light footsteps coming down the hallway, she'd turned her head to meet Thor, who was looking considerably dimmer and sadder. All of a sudden, Sif felt her hunger leaving her, and instead being replaced by an empty sense of guilt. Thor lifted his head, and sad blue eyes stared into hers.

"He'd rather not dine with us tonight," Thor began, "he wishes to be left alone...As do I. I will not be attending tonight's feast."

Sif walked up beside him and paused as if she were thinking, "No need to attend. We were only hosting because we thought Loki would have attended," she looked a bit guilty, "we've missed him." Thor smiled and followed Sif down to the kitchen where the "meal" was to take place. The smell made its way back into the hallway, yet, Thor had lost his appetite.

ooooo

Loki remained in his room until he was certain that Thor had departed and was nowhere near his chambers. Sadly, though, Loki was hungry, very hungry, but he had no intention of being mocked or being the center of attention in the presence of high officials, even if one was his brother. He was grateful, though, that Thor had left when asked to, and hadn't stationed guards at his door. He couldn't deal with them for much longer, steadily; they'd been drawing him closer and closer to insanity.

So had Odin, but, at least he didn't have to see Odin's face daily.

But the taunting smirks of the guards, the way they looked at him, their judgmental faces merged with his father's straight and sadistic one, and the pain in Loki's stomach erupted. He hadn't eaten in days out of fear of his father's new tactics to keep him powerless and controlled. Perhaps, he could eat out in the pasture tonight, the horses always had extra apples, and if they didn't tonight, he'd sneak into the kitchen later, when everyone else was asleep.

So, for now, he'd wait.

ooooo

For dinner, that night, Thor had only consumed a glass of lukewarm water, and left it up to this glass of water to sustain him for the remainder of the night. As he walked through the castle, the thought of his brother plagued him once again. He, for some reason, had been reassured that the punishment given to Loki by his father was reasonable and would cause no long term effects.

In the end of his train of thought, Thor concluded that in order to fix his brother, a talk with his father would be most necessary; perhaps, even his mother could fill him in just a bit. He felt a bit guilty for not knowing what his younger brother had gone through and obviously, it hadn't been the best thing to do, and he certainly wasn't recovering. Telling his Father may have just been the best thing, if only Loki had not hated him.

This was another thing that baffled the Thunderer. What exactly had caused this mass hate for their father? This was another point that he was sure to bring up, and automatically, he found his body making way to his parent's room.

Guards stood their ground as usual, but, saluted the god and allowed him to enter his parent's chambers. Despite the time, neither one had been asleep. It appeared that there was some tension between them, but, being as slow as he was, Thor hadn't noticed this as a warning, or the ending of a heated battle. Instead, he walked into the room, bright eyed and curious expression, and it was only with the clearing of his throat that his parents had noticed him.

Odin turned to look at his son from his spot at the window where he'd been gazing at the skies; Frigg had looked up from the ground that she starred on as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Son," Odin said, adjusting his voice to a tone appropriate for his son, "what brings you to our chambers this evening." Frigg, noticing Thor's puzzled expression, stood up and walked to her husband.

"It is Loki that brings me here," he replied, receiving looks from the two older beings. For a while, it was a prolonged silence, but then, slowly, Frigg made her way away from Odin and just few feet in front of her son

"Tell me, my dear, Loki has done nothing wrong this time, has he?" she asked, her tone almost pleading, almost begging her to answer "no". Thor smiled, "No, not at all mother. In Fact, it's the oppisite_I believe that someone has actually wronged him," he paused to choose his words, "he's acting different, as if I, his older brother, would lay a hand on him to hurt him. And also, he's thin, very thin; I don't believe he's taking care of himself."

Frigg looked at Odin and back at Thor, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. And just as she was about to say something, Odin's stern voice had boomed from near the window. "Ahh, Loki," he said, his voice soft and curious, "it seems he still fears what there is not to fear. Bring him; tell him that his father wishes to speak with him."

Odin face was still towards the window, and pure hate and rage erupted in Friggs form. Thor, again, being who he was, thought Odin was the solution to all, and left the room with a happy, "Yes" and a forceful hug directed to his mother.

ooooo

Though it wasn't winter, the cool chill of the night blew against Loki's gaunt face and caused shivers to run down his spine. He wrapped a thick blanket around his shivering form as he walked out barefoot into the pastures. The sky was illuminated by the shining stars and the many moons of Asgard, and the trees whispered things to Loki as the wind hit them at the exact point.

Had it not been for his current situation, Loki would have felt at home, but many titles and deeds weighed him down, many that would take years to remove.

Finding a comfortable spot by a tree, Loki closed his eyes and slid down the smooth trunk. He inhaled the scent of distant animals and pollen from the plants. He smiled at the thought of animals; He'd be in trouble if Slepnir happened to find him lying about. The horse would put up a fit about Loki, ranting about how horrible he was treated by his "family" and causing a commotion upon all of the animals.

That's a loyal child for you.

But he purposely avoided the horse stalls just for that very reason. He didn't want to be reminded now, he just wanted to rest, he just wanted to sleep and be left alone. And slowly, his eyelids became heavier, and sleep greeted him with open arms.

"Loki."

His eyes shot open and was up on his feet again, ready and alert, sleep leaving him by the second. He could not find the suspect though, and began to think of it as a figment of his imagination. When finally, he was sure that he was just dreaming, he resumed his position and closed his eyes.

"Loki, come on," Loki's heart skipped a beat at the site of the intruder. Tall and muscular, Thor stood before him, his godly glory illuminating beyond him. Two concerned eyes stared into his, and Thor kneeled down next to his brother. "Come on, we need to get you to the palace," he said softly, keeping Loki's condition in mind, "you're needed in the palace."

Loki looked away from Thor, and then back at him, than down again.

Thor sighed as Loki did this; for it was obvious he had no intention of following him to the castle. Maybe, he could aid him there. His mistake was when his hand came into contact with Loki's shoulder.

"Don't TOUCH ME," and like an injured animal, Loki sprung about five feet away from his brother, and brought his trembling hand to the shoulder that Thor had grabbed. Thor stood his ground, baffled at his brother's response to his attempt to help him. It was then that the thought of Loki being injured crossed Thor's thick headed skull, which, in turn, prompted him to attempt to grab at the shoulder again.

Loki stared at his brother in disbelief as he moved swiftly towards him again. Loki didn't mean to, but, he was terrified, and it was an automatic defense. As the muscular arm reached for his shoulder, Loki launched a kick towards the face with the reflex of a cheeta. He watched with wide eyes as his brother lazily stumbled back and looked towards the tree for support. Thor grasped his throbbing nose with his hand, and stared daggers at Loki, but quickly softened his gaze at the cowering site in front of him.

For minutes, the two stood apart, their faces sparkling in the moonlight, bringing all features to life. It was then again, that Thor got a better look of Loki's figure. What he saw scared him, and it needed to be resolved quickly. And he knew exactly the right solution for it.

"Loki," he began, loud enough for the younger god to hear, but soft enough not to scare him, "Father has requested that I bring you in_"

"No, no, no, no," Loki cut into the middle of his sentence, eyes wide and once again, terrified, "not him, not him!" This was just what Thor had hoped to avoid. "Loki, he can_" but Loki was already on his feet.

"I hate him! Why do you think he can help me?" Loki shouted loudly, the tears threatening to spill. "he's the AllFather, I'm sure he can help with any problem that has befallen you," Thor said soothingly, "just let him help you."

Thor watched as Loki brought two trembling hands to his face, and slowly began to cry and shrink before him. Thor sighed and walked over to his brother. This act...it was getting old, and Thor was wondering whether Loki had staged it all in order to get attention.

The eyes are the windows to the soul, and Loki's soul was shattered.

It was then that Thor had realized his brother was completely terrified of his father, and at the moment, he didn't want to speak of it, and he would be wrong to force him. And also, it had been a bad idea to tell his father of Loki's condition.

Thor kneeled beside him and put a gentle hand on the trembling figure, and slowly wrapped his arms around the whole as well. For a while, he could sense the tension in the smaller body, but it began to ease away until nothing but the trembling was left. It was then that Thor mentally relieved his vows as an older brother, and promised to protect Loki from everything, even if that meant battling his father. Taking him to Odin's room was a negative, so instead, he'd decided to take him to his chambers, where he could be watched and cared for.

The trees whispered once again.

******ooooo**

**Hope you loved it. Sorry for any mistakes. Have a nice summer and God bless! **


	4. Pain of the Past

**a/n: Thanks so much for all of the reviews, they really keep me going. You get to see a bit of Loki's past in order to know what is causing him such distress. It comes and bits and pieces though. Please enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own what Marvel owns**

**Pain of the Past **

_The guards roughly dragged the broken form into the hall. It was an attempt to break his spirit once and for all, and to crush any sanity he could hang on to. Loki collapsed before the throne, body racked in sweat and blood, trembling before the might of his "Father". He gasped for breath, and winced each time a broken rib moved and poked his pale and broken skin. He stared at Odin through a gaze full of tears. _

"_A warrior does not cry in the presence of his king, a son, his father," Odin proclaimed loudly. Loki's gaze hardened, and he gave off a shallow cry that morphed into a laugh. _

"_A warrior," he said painfully, loud enough for Odin to here, as his rib punctured his insides, "a son. I beg_I beg to differ," he gasped for air, "how about a prisoner...or...or a slave of some sort, or a test subject. Now, isn't that more fitting?" _

_Odin sighed, "Loki, your mind is still very twisted," he walked off of his throne and walked in front of Loki, "pain is the only way to assure a full recovery." _

_How Loki wanted to spit at his king, but he'd stain the All Father's face with the blood of a frost giant. _

_Yes, he was twisted, but why keep him alive? Did he honestly think that this was the right answer, by torturing him mentally, physically, sexually and emotionally? If this continued, why, Loki would never be the same. He'd be reduced to insanity._

_Loki was forced to look into the god's eyes as he attempted to stay awake and stay alive. He was thirsty and hungry, and deprived of the nutrients required to keep him alive. Odin, being who he was, noticed this, and a thought came to his mind. _

_He commanded a guard to bring him a chalice from the kitchen, a chalice of wine, but he'd added something else. Loki's head was too much in a whirl to actually catch what he'd said though, therefore, he was left blank. _

_He hadn't noticed it when the guard had returned with the chalice, nor had he noticed it when Odin had put a stranger powder into the drink. He did, however, notice when he was seized roughly by the guards, and when a cold chalice was pressed to his lips. _

"_Despite what you go through, Loki," Odin has said, "I do this because I love you, and because deep down, you're my son. You must learn discipline,and the only way for a being like you to obtain these tactics, is for you to experience pain while being taught, pain in the simplest of things." _

_Odin's pity filled eyes looked into those of Loki, and as he tipped the chalice further down, Loki's insides felt as if they were melting. The pain was so immense, that it was impossible for him to scream. The guards had released him and stepped outside, leaving father and son alone. Now, he was certain that he could not breath, and despite his attempted escapes, Odin poured the contents into his body, every bit of it. Loki could feel himself seizuring, and felt his eyes roll to the back of his head, but he wouldn't pass out, his body refused to allow it. _

_He coughed and coughed, the blood pouring from his mouth like a waterfall. He wanted to scream, needed to scream, someone would hear, someone would help. But...who? Who would want to help him, especially if it was the king doing this to him. He'd screamed many times before, and not one person offered him a hand. Not his mother, nor his brother. Of course, he didn't expect them to, but he felt so alone. _

_He was alone. _

ooooo

Thor leaned on the wall and stared at his brother who was presently sleeping in the Thunder god's bed. To disturb him would surely cause him more distress, so he'd decided he'd be standing for the remainder of the night. It was better this way, he could observe Loki's movements.

Loki had surveyed the room while he was being carried in, and with one last look into his brother's eyes, he drifted into sleep. Thor carefully placed his younger brother in the bed and observed him from a distance.

In the morning, he'd get Loki to eat, he was certain of that. But for now, he watched the tired form before him.

ooooo

_Despite what horrible things his older brother was sure to throw at him, Loki was anxious to see his face again, to see Thor's face. The very thought of his brother still having a smidge of hope in him, warmed his tattered body, in both the inside and out. Would his brother be concerned and happy to see him, or would be angry? Since the wine accident, which was supposed to be a discipline lesson in order to teach him to keep his mouth shut, Loki hadn't touched anything offered to him from the palace. Therefore, he was thinner than he'd previously been, and more gaunt looking as well. _

_Thankfully, his lack of food had caused him to become numb, and put him into a daze, therefore, he could hardly feel the pain that his tortures had inflicted upon him. At the moment, he was in his bared prison celled. The floors and walls were wet brick, and the only source of light came from the small window that had been chiseled in some time before. He slept on the floor, for he had been neglected of a bed. At times, the floor had been hard and uncomfortable to even sit on, but, he managed. _

_For sure, the floor had to be covered in blood, or, at least the area where he usually stumbled. The guards usually allowed him to clean himself whatever way necessary, and the new pair of clothes came the next morning. It almost made him seem as if he were in a human hospital, at least that's what the style of clothing mildly resembled._

_As for tonight, though, the clothes were drenched in red and torn in several places. At least, this time, he still had them on. _

_He shuddered at the thought of what his father allowed the guards to do to him, the ways he allowed them to defile his own son so freely and proudly. The twisted guards, by all means, made Loki there's. Luckily, the just of them outnumbered the barbaric ones, leaving their acts to a minimum. _

_He hated the physical contact though, from both insane and sane. Anyway they touched him, anyone who touched him, the result was always the same. _

_Loki curled himself into a ball, and buried his face into his knees. It still felt so strange for him to cry, even it he had been in the presence of no one but himself. But really, was this "himself"? He didn't know, he never did._

_Before the hate, before the jealously, before the damage, Loki could perhaps find himself, find the god that he missed, find the god that others missed and wanted him to be._

_He allowed the tears to fall slowly and eventually, they joined the pool of blood. _

ooooo

Thor was shocked to see his brother crying in his sleep. Exactly what was he dreaming of? He hadn't seen Loki cry in a while, and for the times he had seen it, he'd felt strange inside. He'd felt a bit guilty, and the more and more he thought of it, he realized exactly why he was feeling it.

He was Loki's older brother, and as such, he should have done everything to keep him from crying, to protect him and, if needed, shield him from the world and the people who inhabited it. Obviously, if Loki was in such a state, he hadn't been doing such a good job. But, why, for all these long agonizing months, had Loki not contacted Thor. Surely, his father_His father. He had to remind himself that he was not being told everything he needed to be told.

Half of him told him to rest with Loki, but the other half warned him of the reaction he'd get if he disturbed Loki.

But Loki was crying. What kind of brother would just stand and watch. Even if he just sat near him, perhaps, this would be enough to comfort was no longer tired, but put on full alert.

Directly after Loki ate a healthy breakfast in the morning, Odin and Thor were sure to have a very long talk.

ooooo

**Thanks for all of the reviews! I'm so glad you like it, and finally, I saw Thor :). It was such a good movie. Anyway, sorry for any spelling mistakes, I'm using google docs. Feel free to ask any questions. So, have a nice weekend and God bless.**


	5. An Argument

**a/n: Please excuse any spelling errors, and sorry for the long wait. This chapter may be a little choppy, but, the next one should fill in the swiftness. **

**disclaimer: I do not own Thor. **

**An Argument **

Loki's morning began with the smell of fresh clothes, and the feeling of warmth illuminating his body, and not soon after, had the sounds wedged in as well. With a great effort, due to his weakening body, Loki sat himself up and opened his sleepy eyes to look at his surroundings. For a while, he was shocked, this definitely wasn't near the meadow, but, slowly, the previous events of the night before flooded his mind.

But, his brother was nowhere to be seen. Loki looked around the square room once more. Perhaps his brother was hiding? No, there was no place for him to hide, though the room was big, Thor surprisingly took kept the place looking somewhat tidy. Yes, there were the occasional scattered clothes, and dangerous weapons, and the cape that hung above the mirror on the side opposite of the bed.

The four walls had been painted a light creamish color, which made the room appear bigger, not that it was small to begin with. All of the furniture was a dark brown, the bookshelf (for what for, Loki had no idea. Thor hardly read anything), the four poster king sized bed (save for the curtains, which were a velvety red), and the large chairs stationed on different sides of the room. The windows were wide and inviting, Thor's view on his kingdom had been excellent, and he could see everything.

Loki looked towards the bed and saw a small outfit neatly folded beside him. This had been where the smell of clean clothes had come from. Strange, he hadn't noticed them before. He held them up to the best of his ability, for his muscles ached with each movement. Why was his brother suddenly taking a liking to small clothing? Surely, this had to be a dare. The thought had never occurred to him that these clothes had been for him, his brain was not functioning properly.

It was time for him to go, he would hate for anyone in the palace to know he was inside. Carefully, with fuzzy senses, Loki slid out of the bed and tried to upright himself to no avail. One misstep had sent him falling forward, with little time to brace himself for the impact. Only, he never hit the ground.

He gasped as he felt himself being held by strong arms, which slowly brought him up and back into the bed. He turned to look at his older brother, who looked very concerned and very worried.

"Did you not hear me enter?" he questioned, trying to make eye contact with his younger brother. He shook Loki lightly, and felt relieved when the younger turned towards him. But still, he looked as if he had no idea what had just happened. Thor noticed that Loki's hands had been grasping something, due to the fact that they'd been in the same position. Thor saw the clothes he'd intended for Loki to wear, all scattered about and around everywhere.

"They're for you, you know," Thor implied to a silent Loki, "here, let me get them for you."

Loki's eyes followed Thor while he picked up the clothing, and continued to do so until he resumed his sitting position on the bed. "Here, you need to clean yourself," he said as softly as he could muster. This was strange for him, never, in all of his life, had he been in such a strange situation. He'd never seen this side to his brother, but, lately, he was seeing many sides that he had no idea existed. He stood up and helped his brother up. Loki, again, stumbled and collided with the stern form of Thor.

"Sorry," Loki apologized, barely above a whisper.

"No worries..." Thor replied, thinking for a while, "On second hand, I believe that it would be best for you to eat something first, rather than stumbling around like a newborn baby."

"Food...from the kitchen?" Loki asked, sounding frightened.

"Of course, why not?" Thor asked, a bit baffled by his brother's response, "you're low on nutrients."

Weak arms attempted to push away from Thor, and as they did so, Thor took a swift, but a comfortable hold on them. He looked into his brother's eyes which were filled with dismay and fear. "But..but the food is poisoned," he exclaimed, "I refuse to eat it!"

Another point i'll make to my father, Thor thought to himself as he searched for words to reassure his brother with. He had to be careful though, he had not the knowledge of what Loki had befallen during his punishment, and as of now, he knew that whatever it was had permanently scarred his younger brother.

He attempted to move, but Loki stayed still, forcing Thor to remain where he was, staring into his brother's large eyes. "Loki, what on earth makes you think that our food is poisoned, is this the reason for your thin figure?" he expected a teary answer, he'd asked as if he were talking to a young child.

"D-don't talk to me like that," he said, not at all confident, averting his gaze from his brother, "I just don't trust it." Thor may have been slow, but, he was not stupid. "That's not it Loki, I know there's something else," he said soothingly, trying his best to coax whatever it was out of Loki, "you can trust me_"

"I can trust you?" a flash of furry ignited and brighten the dull green in Loki's eyes, "Than how come, you could never be there for me, or, when I wanted you to, you could never understand me?..." The rest of Loki's rant had been roughly cut off when Thor grabbed Loki around the waist, and flung him over his shoulder.

"Brother, for what I have done to you, I'm sorry, truly, I am. But you expect me to be there for you, yet you keep your pains and sufferings from me. It's no wonder why you've gone insane multiple times, brother. You keep your emotions balled inside of you," he hadn't meant to hit a personal point in Loki, but unknowingly, he hit one.

"Then, if I can't be helped," Loki began, leveling his voice, "why help me? Now put me down!"

"I help you because it's my obligation as your older brother, and my responsibility to do so," Thor said, refusing to lower his brother, "and my help will begin with restoring you to your natural weight."

As Thor began to move, Loki began to struggle. He had no intention of waking into an agonizing death due to the kitchen food. It was poisoned, and he knew it.

"Loki, please stop squirming, I have an iron grip on you," the booming voice had only added to Loki's fear, and with little strength, he found himself being escorted right to his doom.

ooooo

Sif sat alone in the large dining hall, chewing on the core of an apple that had been long since eaten, another object on her plate of untouched food. Really, she was simply sucking the excess juice from the core, letting her mind drift on certain topics and things. Fighting, men, food, animals...fighting, men, food, animals, fighting, men, food_with the speed of a cheetah, Sif hurled the apple as far away from her as possible. It was the same, all the same. Nothing changed, nothing was unexpected, she was thought of and viewed as "one of the boys," and never as herself.

She'd fight one day, accompany her only friends, who were men, eat some, hunt for animals, and she'd do everything, all over again. Had there really ever been a Sif? Perhaps, long ago, there was a beautiful girl with a shining smile, flowing hair, and kind eyes. But now, that image had been replaced with a stoned face warrior, ready to strike at the sharpest of command.

With a sigh, she stood up, walked around the table, and retrieved her apple core. She wondered if it was still good to suck on, and with a shrug, she remembered that she was viewed as, "one of the boys," and stuck the whole core into her mouth. She moved it around with her tongue and smiled to herself. It still tasted like an apple, just with a little dirt.

Sif jumped as the doors to the hall were roughly open, and two struggling figures slowly made their way in.

She beamed at the sight of Thor, but her her happiness slowly died down as she saw him struggling to pull another person into the hall. She squinted her eyes and looked a bit harder. To her amazement, she saw that the body causing all of the trouble had been none other than Thor's younger brother, Loki.

"Stop_Stop Struggling!" Thor had pleaded with his brother, "You'll be okay." Loki, who was using every ounce of strength he could in order to stay out of the kitchen, replied loudly, "It will kill me!"

Quickly, she ran over to the scene where the two were, and grabbed the back of Thor's cape and pulled as hard as she could in order to aid him. She hadn't seen Loki since the two had starred each other down at the throne. And despite what he'd done, she had known how much he'd struggled internally with himself, and saw this as an opportunity to become his friend.

With one last powerful pull, Thor and Loki had fallen upon Sif, and though she had the weight of two god's upon her, Sif smiled, for this was most definitely triumph. For a while, the trio stayed on the ground, each panting as they lay there, sprawled on the stone floor.

"Thank you, Sif," Thor had said soon after, quickly removing himself off of the lady, and grabbing his brother before he had a chance to run off.

Sif smiled, and accepted Thor's free hand. She took it, and was gracefully pulled to her feet. She smiled again at Thor and then to Loki, who looked positively beaten as he was being pulled roughly by his brother, who was probably unaware. She walked fast as Thor pulled Loki the tables.

Loki avoided Sif's gaze like the plague, but, from what she could see, he was on the verge of tears, and, his brother, had no idea. It was obvious he was dreading the fact of going into the kitchen.

Sif took the apple core out of her mouth and caught up with Thor. "Thor, perhaps, instead of going into the kitchen for a new platter, Loki could eat from my plate. I've touched nothing but the apple," she suggested. Loki looked at her, tears already spilling, but somewhere, through the teary mess, she could see the eyes smiling, and an unsaid thank you.

Thor stopped for a while and thought. His brother would do anything to not go into the kitchen, so why force him, even if he needed it. Thor nodded, "Thank you Sif, make sure he eats everything, and when you're done, take him back to my chambers," Thor said, remembering what it was he had to do, "I need to speak with my father."

ooooo

From the moment Thor had walked in, the tension had already been high. Since the arrival of Loki, the two had argued once again. Frigg, wanting to see some justice done with her younger son, helpful justice, and Odin, wanting to see Loki broken in a sick and cruel attempt to fix him altogether.

"But he'll be unfixable!" Frigg had shouted, moments before Thor had arrived into the room. "Then so be it," Odin had replied, loudly and boldly, "If breaking Loki's soul is necessary in order for the greater good, than we shall sacrifice it!"

Thor had walked in, yet the two were so engaged in their arguments, that they had not even noticed their son.

"For the greater good, ha! You've sacrificed much for "the greater good," and I don't intend for Loki to be one of them! We drove him into insanity! How can we fix it with even more insanity! I see the way he looks at me, ME, his own mother, in fear and shame! Is that what you want of a son?"

"My son will be my son as soon as he finished his punishment for his crimes, and I don't care how gruesome they may be! He can be torn limb from limb and put back together, burned, whipped, raped, I care not about what it may be, I_we need him broken! It is the only way!"

His throat was dry with anger, his eyes were red with fury, and his voice was coated in venom.

"Father, I thought that Loki had already been punished for what he had done. At least, that's what I've been told. And exactly," Thor could hardly contain his anger, "and exactly what has been done to him?"

ooooo

**So, i thought i was Thor, used my puppy's toy as mjolnir, and hit my puppy square in the face. Anyway, I know the last bit was really fast, but, that's just this chapter. Stuff happens in the next. Have a nice week and God bless.**


	6. Turning the Tides

**A/N: Out of curiosity, did any of you have an issue with Heimdall being played by Idris Elba? This chapter was difficult to write. I hope you like it, and please, forgive any spelling errors. Just finished reading the Bartimaeus Trilogy though! So happy! **

**disclaimer: I don't own Thor. **

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Turning the Tides

His walls dropped the moment he left Sif and Loki. He wanted to kick something, destroy a planet, kill a race...anything to take his mind off of his brother's broken form. He was filled with frustration and fury, and any person in his way darted to the nearest wall, in order to stay out of the king's wrath. His Father was to be paraded with questions, questions that needed to be answered.

The instant the guards had caught sight of him, they'd moved away from his parents door, evidently, his tension had been thick. The two had quickly bowed their heads as he passed and pushed open the large doors.

He stopped suddenly, and let the doors close behind him.

His parents were in a heated argument, surprisingly, about Loki and his condition. Both seemed to be unaware of his presence, and he decided that it was best to keep it that way. It would be interesting to hear what his father had to say. It took a lot to contain himself, but he wanted to hear so desperately what they had to say, more preferably, his father.

"For the greater good, ha! You've sacrificed much for "the greater good," and I don't intend for Loki to be one of them! We drove him into insanity! How can we fix it with even more insanity! I see the way he looks at me, ME, his own mother, in fear and shame! Is that what you want of a son?" Frigg had cried in fear and agony.

"My son will be my son as soon as he finished his punishment for his crimes, and I don't care how gruesome they may be! He can be torn limb from limb and put back together, burned, whipped, raped, I care not about what it may be, I_we need him broken! It is the only way!" Odin had retorted.

Thor felt his insides twist, and his throat dry. All of a sudden, things were starting to make just a bit more sense to him.

With the best sense he could contain, he began to speak.

"Father, I thought that Loki had already been punished for what he had done. At least, that's what I've been told. And exactly," Thor could hardly contain his anger, "and exactly what has been done to him?"

All of a sudden, the room turned cold and silent, neither Frigg nor Odin moving. Thor looked from his mother to his father, the silence and anticipation killing him. His anger welled up, and in a loud and booming voice, he demanded answers.

"I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO MY BROTHER!" by now, he was breathing hard, barely able to contain his breath. The image of fear in Loki's eyes flooded his mind, it blinded him and made him enraged like a bull, and yet, his parents continued to stare.

Then, Odin finally spoke.

"As king," he began calmly, "you must know_" "I must know what?" Thor cut in harshly, "that it is okay to break the soul of one who has already been tortured?" Odin stared, eyes cold and calculating.

With this, he sighed, "Loki is a complicated subject," Odin chose his words carefully, "that must be dealt with. You may not fully understand now, but later, you will."

"No, what I see now is my _younger_ brother cowering away from me when I try to help him! That's teaching him no lesson, that's not dealing with him at all!" Thor was fuming now, not getting any answers he wanted, suddenly, his attention turned to his mother, who was standing their and saying nothing.

"Mother, surely," his voice dropped to a pleading tone, "you've been with Loki since I've been gone, you have seen how he suffers. You must see something wrong with his treatment. You must!"

Frigg closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "And I do, Thor, I do." She turned towards Odin, and shouted at him, eyes open and inflamed with furry, "And how can you not! He's your son!"

"NOT ANYMORE, NOT YET!" Odin shouted, his voice ringing through the room, "I will deal with him as I please!"

"AND WHAT DID TORTURING DO TO HIM?" Thor exclaimed, walking towards his father, "HE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR SON, HE WILL ALWAYS BE MY BROTHER. WHY MAKE HIM FEAR US!"

"That _boy_ needs to be put in his place," Odin said sharply, leveling with his son, "it is necessary to break him in order to remind him exactly _what_ he is!"

"And exactly what is he?" Frigg asked, she, herself now walking towards the two, "just another prisoner to let die, another frost giant to be killed?"

Odin turned away from the two, enraged, and marched towards the door leaving son and mother behind.

"Where is Loki!" he turned around quickly, and asked sharply. Thor's eyes widened, there was no way he'd allow his father to get his hands on his brother.

"I shall not tell," Thor replied coldly, voice stern and eyes focused.

Odin started and stood still, than roughly turned away and pushed open the doors, "Than I shall find out myself_GUARDS!" The two men he had allowed Thor to pass quickly came into view, "Get as many as you can to search the castle for Loki. Once he is found, bring him to the dungeon under all cost, do you understand?"

Just as the guards made to nod, Thor stopped them. "You'll do no such thing, " he said, quickly walking, "you will return to your post."

Without warning, Odin struck Thor, causing him to fly back into an approaching Frigg, and with this, the guards were off, still, under Odin's command.

ooooo

If Loki had been unraveled by the fact that Sif had been staring at him during his meal, he did a great job at hiding it. Only once did he look at her, but that was moments after his brother had left. Sif had to encourage the frightened god to actually take a bite of his food, and convince her that it hadn't been poisoned. In fact, she'd taken a bit out of a piece of toast just to prove her point.

Reluctantly, he took a bite, and after deciding he wouldn't drop down dead, he began to eat.

Sif took this time to see what had become of him since he'd been brought back to Asgard. As she looked, she became angered. Not at Loki, but at his condition. He was thin and paler than normal, his eyes were large and red rimmed, and he moved with fear. He wouldn't even eat without being reassured that he wasn't going to die.

Odin had said that his punishments had been lessened due to the fact that he was the prince of Asgard and confused, but he didn't say he'd bring him down to his knees.

As he ate, a thin hand rested on the bench next to Sif's lap. He most likely hadn't even noticed, but Sif did. Slowly, she reached for his hand, yearning to touch it and to bring some warmth into this cold time of his life. She felt that there had been so much she didn't know, but so much she needed to know. She felt that, if he allowed her, she could help. So slowly, her hand hovered above his, and the warmth of her's made contact with the coldness of his.

A thousand images flooded her mind at once.

Screams, pleads, pain, agony, all of it belonging to Loki. She saw Odin bring him down to his knees and reduce him to nothing, she saw him being tortured and defiled, while Odin stood, nodding in approval and doing nothing. She saw Loki at Odin's feet, begging him for freedom in the form of death, and she saw Odin turn away from his son and leave him to his tortures.

She smelled blood and other bodily fluids; she could taste it as well. She felt the pain he went through, physical and mental. She wanted to scream.

She could feel the despair and fear of being alone, she could hear the lies Loki was being fed, and she could see where the madness stemmed from.

And just as quickly as it began, it stopped suddenly. As she came back into her world, she was sweating and trying her best to catch her breath, her eyes watery and vision foggy. She wanted to throw up, she felt like passing out. As her vision cleared, she could see Loki, just feet away from her, his hand withdrawn from hers, his eyes wide and confused. She wanted to help.

"Loki," she said, her voice still faint from the previous visions, and then, the door's to the Hall opened.

**I hope you enjoyed this. July 11, I'm going to Spain for vacation. I've never been out of the United States before (well, if you count Canada), but, I've never flown overseas! I'm so scared! Anyway, have any of you read the Bartimaeus Trilogy before? If so, I'm writing a fanfic for that! Also, if you like Harry Potter, I'm writing a fanfic for that as well, and for Hellsing! So, enjoy!**


	7. Bleak Beginning

**Aa/n: leaving for Spain wednesday, so, this chapter is going to be short. It will be the last for the next two weeks, so, enjoy. Remember, very short. Sorry for any errors and read and review. **

**ooooo**

Bleak Beginning

Sif took a defensive step in front of Loki the moment the four guards had stepped into the Hall. Still, he had been in a daze from moments before, and made no effort to move as he regained his thoughts.

"By high command of the Allfather, we have come to take Loki," the first stated loudly and sternly.

This seemed to get Loki's attention. All dread filled his eyes again, and slowly, he cowered back. Sif was already set on letting nothing happen to him, as he'd already been through too much. She'd stall until Thor got back, but judging by the fact that his father's guards were here, something had gone wrong.

"And exactly why does the Allfather need Loki, he's supposed to be a free man," Sif replied coolly, not taking her eyes off of the bulk of guards, "he's already been punished far too much."

"Who are you to judge the Father's motives?" he asked again, "you're nothing but a mere lady."

Hurry Thor.

"And, I happen to be _Lady_ Sif," she replied, "and I have every right to stand up for a tortured_"

"If you do not move willingly," four spears pointed towards the pair, "we will be forced to use action."

Sif was the first to attack, knowing she didn't need to give Loki a reason to defend himself and cause harm to the guards. With the stealth of a cheetah, and the strength of a wolf, Sif easily overcame the guards, thought she was unarmed. She looked back to see Loki slightly trembling and backing away from the mess of guards on the floor.

Sif quickly walked towards him and extended a hand, "Loki, come," she said, concentrating on his large green and terrified eyes, "we must go."

Before the two could flee, Sif felt an immense pain in the back of her head, and Loki's terrified face slowly faded from her view.

ooooo

Thor felt like screaming when he entered the hall.

He was too late, his friend injured, and his brother nowhere to be seen. Frigg had already kneeled near the pile of guards, commanding that they tell her where her son was, but they all gave the same answer.

The AllFather.

Thor had helped Sif up, and had sent her immediately to the Healing room. He'd get information out of her later. As for now, he needed to demand Loki's location from his father, and pray that it not be the dungeons.

But unbeknown to Thor, Loki was no longer in Asgrad, neither was his father; For a much worse fate remained in line for the Trickster, one that would change him forever.

**ooooo**

**I hope you can wait two weeks for a new chapter, because, I'm leaving later. I hope you liked this chapter, and please, tell me what you think. This is like a small preview chapter, so, it was rushed, sorry for any erros. When i get back, there will be a story with Clint and Loki, it's going to be MPreg because I'm in love with that pairing. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and let's find out what Odin does to damage Loki's fragile mind now! It will be a lot of torture scenes from now on, so beware! Have a nice week and God bless!**


	8. A Connection

**a/n: Yea! Back from Spain and back into America. Spain was fun though, I enjoyed it a lot, I lost a lot of weight, and got darker than I already was. At first I was like a milk chocolate color, not i'm like a dark chocolate color. Oh, and I went to Morocco...which was a bit unorganized, but they had delicious orange juice. So, hope you enjoy this chapter, and be prepared for my new stories!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. **

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A connection

Loki had lost sense of time during his drifts in and out of consciousness, therefore, telling his location and his time exactly had been challenging. He was, however, for certain that he was moving. His hands felt bound and his mouth gagged, and his vision may have been obscured as well, but these feelings came so far apart and distant, it almost felt as if he were dreaming.

If only it could be so.

Loki knew that what he was experiencing was far from a dream, and if close to anything, a nightmare. It was all real, and he was caught in the center of it.

Slowly, sound began to come back to him, as well as smell and pain. The pain pulsed through his body with every ragged breath he breathed. He could smell the bitter scent of dirt, and hear the all too familiar crunching of a horse's hooves walking into either cold or dry dirt. He knew it could be both, but hoped it was just dry dirt rather than cold. But the burst of cool, blistering wind told him it was what he dreaded, and that he was no longer in Asgrad, but, Jotunheim.

He'd figured that he'd been put in a sack of some sort, slouched over a horse, and tied to it very tightly. At least, that's what it felt like. But, the rider was a mystery to him at the moment, though; he had a couple of guesses of who it might be.

How desperately he wanted to see, but how much he hurt with every breath. He was certain that what lay ahead of him was sure to be painful and treacherous, because when going to Jotunheim, one never returned untouched. But for now, he allowed the familiar sleep to take him, and he slowly entered a dreamlike state.

ooooo

Thor sat in the dining hall, still processing the information that had just been discovered to him.

Loki and Odin had vanished into thin air, and one of the fastest stable horses had been missing as well. Surprisingly, Slepnir had remained in the stable, legs chained and mouth bound by ropes. Yet, the stable boy could recall nothing.

Obviously, he wanted to say something, but the magick binding him was too powerful to break. The easy solution would be to get Loki, the strongest Sorcerer in all the land, but, seeing as he was missing, that would be hard to do.

Thor felt completely defeated, and what was worse, he had a feeling that his father was behind all of this. He felt sick to his stomach, and reminded himself that he could have prevented this all. He hoped, though, that wherever his younger brother was, that he was not scared and still alive.

The possibility that Loki could be dead terrified Thor, and the fact that he could do nothing at the moment angered him. His brother was fragile, a shell of what he used to be, and he had let him slip away quietly under his nose.

Looking to his side, he could tell that Lady Sif had been beaten up over it as well, as if she blamed herself completely. She also looked rather pale and sickly, as if she'd seen something gruesome and disturbing. The water offered to her had remained untouched. He knew that she had been in the hall at the moment of Loki's disappearance. Perhaps he could ask a few questions.

She didn't look like she felt like talking, but Thor figured that she knew something that he needed to know.

Just as he was about to ask her, she breathed and out of her mouth came a cloud of frost, and instantly, she brought her arms around her trembling body. She was cold.

Thor looked around the hall. The guards had left to search for the king and the prince, while Frigg had remained, idly walking around, head down and muttering to herself. His mother had not seemed cold, and neither had he, so why was Sif shivering.

"Lady Sif?" he spoke softly to the woman sitting beside him, "is something_"

Before Thor could finish, if croaked as if she was being choked, and, in fact, it looked like she was being choked. Her breathing became raspy, and the shivering progressed into seizuring. Thor rose to his feet instantly, and grabbed the shaking shoulders of Sif before she crashed to the ground. He quickly called to his mother, who rushed to see what the commotion was about.

ooooo

As Loki felt the cold air stung him as the sack was open, and as he was rudely dropped on the cold ground. He inwardly smiled at the fact that he'd made a connection with the most unlikely person. Though he had no idea how heavily it might affect her, he knew Sif would be able to come out strong and help him the best she could.

ooooo

**So, Loki and Sif are connected now, so that should help, if the giants to destroy Loki's mind first. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and for my next works, they'll be slow, so, keep reading. Have a nice weekend and God bless!**


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